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May 26, 2014

What LEGACY will you leave after you’re GONE?

Author: JenniferMaster1

Consider for a moment what type of legacy and memories you will leave for your family after you are gone. Hopefully, you are building a memorial of surviving and thriving joyfully in your life.

Whether you are or not, one of the best things you can do to empower your family with greater resilience to challenges is Happy family, father, mother, son and daughter to share stories of yourself and ancestors with your posterity.

Studies were recently published in the New York Times stating that children who know a lot about their families, tend to do better when they face challenges. For example:

Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family, and they overcame it? Do you know the story of your birth?
The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned.
Something unexpected happened after the first research study. Two months after the research the terrorist attack known as Sept. 11 was launched on the United States. As citizens, Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush were horrified like everyone else, but as psychologists, they knew they had been given a rare opportunity: though the families they studied had not been directly affected by the events, all the children had experienced the same national trauma at the same time. The researchers went back and reassessed the children who participated in the initial research.
“Once again,” Dr. Duke said, “the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.”
Why does knowing where your grandmother went to school help a child overcome something as minor as a skinned knee or as major as a terrorist attack?
“The answers have to do with a child’s sense of being part of a larger family,” Dr. Duke said.
Psychologists have found that every family has a unifying narrative, he explained, and those narratives take one of three shapes.
First, the ascending family narrative: “Son, when we came to this country, we had nothing. Our family worked. We opened a store. Your grandfather went to high school. Your father went to college. And now you. …”
Second is the descending narrative: “Sweetheart, we used to have it all. Then we lost everything.”
Toesies“The most healthful narrative,” Dr. Duke continued, “is the third one. It’s called the oscillating family narrative: ‘Dear, let me tell you, we’ve had ups and downs in our family. We built a family business. Your grandfather was a pillar of the community. Your mother was on the board of the hospital. But we also had setbacks. You had an uncle who was once arrested. We had a house burn down. Your father lost a job. But no matter what happened, we always stuck together as a family.’ ”
Dr. Duke said that children who have the most self-confidence have …a strong “intergenerational self.” They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.1
So if we want a happier family, we must create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones.

If you agree that families can use some strengthening in a world of declining morals, principles and time-honored values, and that family relationships can be some of the most challenging ones to deal with, please take a few moments and answer this quick and easy survey. The “EMPOWER YOUR FAMILY PROGRAM” Questionnaire will give invaluable insight for a new and much needed program my team and I are considering developing to empower families everywhere, maybe even your own!

Click here to access this important survey:

EMPOWER YOUR FAMILY PROGRAM QUESTIONNAIRE

1 – Excerpts taken from: (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1)

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